windandwater:

And then I’m weak. As much as I want to make the audience laugh, I really want to make Jon laugh.
—Stephen Colbert, here

I already miss him. At 42, you don’t get the opportunity to be tickled a lot.
—Jon Stewart, here.

"I am not a music critic, nor historian, nor archivist. I cannot tell you where Bruce Springsteen falls in the pantheon of the American songbook. I cannot illuminate the context of his work, or its roots in the folk and oral history traditions of our great nation. But I am from New Jersey. And so, I can tell you what I believe. And what I believe is this: I believe that Bob Dylan and James Brown had a baby. Yes. And they abandoned this child. As you can imagine—at the time, interracial same-sex relationships being what they were—they abandoned this child on the side of the road, between the exit interchanges of 8A and 9 on the New Jersey Turnpike. That child…is Bruce Springsteen."
— Jon Stewart, on Bruce Springsteen, at the 2009 Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, D.C. (Video here.)

lynnlin:

“I gotta tell you, Roland Martin, this feels AWESOME. It almost touches my NIP~PLE~”

“Turns out that during the break I found out I was wearing this backwards.”

- The Daily Show, May 10 2010

lynnlin:

“My guest tonight is historian and author Jack Rakove… he’s written a book about the founding fathers, 

and here’s the weird part… IT’S FAN~ FICTION. HMMMMMM~ SLA~SH.”

- The Daily Show, May 10 2010

…what’s called the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. It’s the dinner where the White House Press Corps and the Government consummate their loveless marriage. So, anyway, it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life: the two Bushes dueling and making the jokes, like, “I’m stupid”, “No, you’re stupid”, yeah… Very, very amusing. But then I see this young fella on the screen  - captivating! Captivating! Delivered a 20 minute keynote address that I can only describe as ‘ballsilicious’. It really was something to behold. Apparently he was under the impression they had hired him to do the thing he does on television every night. Anyway, I’m sure he’ll be talking about it at 11:30 but uhh…boy we’ve never been prouder of our Mr. Colbert and uhh… Holy shit!

…what’s called the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. It’s the dinner where the White House Press Corps and the Government consummate their loveless marriage. So, anyway, it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life: the two Bushes dueling and making the jokes, like, “I’m stupid”, “No, you’re stupid”, yeah… Very, very amusing. But then I see this young fella on the screen  - captivating! Captivating! Delivered a 20 minute keynote address that I can only describe as ‘ballsilicious’. It really was something to behold. Apparently he was under the impression they had hired him to do the thing he does on television every night. Anyway, I’m sure he’ll be talking about it at 11:30 but uhh…boy we’ve never been prouder of our Mr. Colbert and uhh… Holy shit!

Have I mentioned that I love Ricky Gervais’ blog?

unrealisticfangirlfantasy:

I sent Jon Stewart a text after he won his second Emmy of the night.

It read:
“Really? How many do you need?”

He wrote back:
“I have a large rectum”

Ha ha. Well deserved as usual.

Bromance all the way.

Last night’s CNN Tea Party Republican debate - truly a remarkable pairing, as a fringe, often derided, incompetent bunch of yahoos was finally granted legitimacy by pairing with the Tea Party. CNN slaaam!